I love talking to my mom. She may or may not know this but she is my absolute best friend. She is a petite strong woman, very opinionated, very tough and my reigning female role model. She’s my favourite person to talk to about relationships because her advice is one of those that echo in your mind days, months and years even after she’s said it, that’s the kind of person she is, she doesn’t like to think of herself as intense but lol in hindsight she is pretty intense anyway, here are some of the most beautiful lessons I picked up from what my mother said.
- Everyone comes in a package written take me as I am. In the end, we don’t just want love, which is why there is a song that goes sometimes love just isn’t enough. We also want acceptance. I think we all need that comfort, notice I didn’t say want, I said need because what we want and what we need are two very different things. We need acceptance, we need to be loved for all that we are, tall, short, skinny, thick, chubby, smart, geeky, judgy and everything in between. We need to be accepted, it’s why marriages we look up to fail when one person stops accepting who the other person is. Understanding that she won’t always be the girl you fell in love with, understanding that you won’t always be the man who swept her off her feet, and as long as it hasn’t changed you into another person, acceptance is key.
- Be kind. Mother always says that kindness will take me further than anything else. This is a hard lesson for me to learn but I try every day because she probably knows what she is talking about. Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Learn how to be kind to yourself then you will know how to be kind to your ‘neighbour’ [bible reference]. There is a bible verse that reads, from the overflow of the heart, so the mouth speaketh it means we give what we are full of. What does that mean for me and you? Fill yourself with love, fill yourself with kindness, fill yourself with good things because you can’t give what you don’t have. You can only give that which you have, you know, charity begins at home and all other quotes and sayings that apply to this. Be kind above all. Kindness breeds kindness this much I have witnessed. Be kind to that woman you love, and be kind to the man you’re with.
- You attract who you are, who you are being and who you are not. Mother says that at any one given point in time you can attract three kinds of people/situations. You can attract who you are, you can attract who you are ben in that instance, be it spontaneous, wild, kind, generous, understanding, just whoever you’re choosing to be in that instance or you can attract who you aren’t so you are reminded of who you are. Say you’ve just gone through a self-love journey you could attract a woman or a man with body issues who will reflect the person you aren’t anymore. Lol I hope this makes sense. When my mom and I are talking in these crazy philosophical terms we get each other, I hope you get me, I hope I’m reaching out to you in a way that this can make sense to you.
- There are no mistakes, only lessons. I know that as we go through relationships sometimes things don’t go as planned. And I’m not talking about things between you and that guy or girl you weren’t really into, I’m talking about that person that made you want to make plans, the kind of person that makes you want to introduce them to your family, so I know that sometimes we meet these people, fall hopelessly in love only to have our hearts broken, well mother says that in as much as that will hurt us, we are to take it with a grain of salt. Don’t get stuck or get swallowed by the ordeal. Learn from it. You’ll be fine, yes feel the pain, that’s okay just don’t pitch a camp there, fix your heart, all a million pieces and find a way to love again. This time someone who will hold your heart and not drop it. There are no mistakes in life, only lesson, some more painful than others but lessons all the same.
- When it’s right you’ll know. I know this whole thing has been complicated so much over time but the bottom line is that when I right, you’ll know. You’ll know because it will just flow. You’ll know because he will care enough to make an effort. You’ll know because he will always show up for you, you’ll know because you won’t have to ask about the basics, you’ll know because you will be his top priority always, you’ll just know. You won’t have to ask silly question like why didn’t he call, why didn’t he do this that and the other because the truth is that the right guy knows you are worth the trouble, you are worth the wait, you are worth it because you are his, and to any real man, that means something, that means everything.
Yes I know, she’s a very smart lady my mom. She gives the best advice and she always knows what to say. You may pout about some things I’ve had to say/ my mom has to say but the truth is the truth, especially that last part about the guy, and how you’ll know the right guy lol that was hard for me to hear but in the end, she was right, she is always right about these things. If you read this mom, I love you. I’m so glad you’re my mom.
If you like this please like and share. Thanks for stopping by.❤❤❤