Hahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!! Excuse me while I laugh at myself.
I left this foolishness in 2017 so I guess I can talk about it now, I used to be one of those people who would date someone and then that one time things don’t work out, we part ways then a year later they come say the way they’ve changed, they’ve grown, all that BS then we get back together and then ofcourse shit goes down again and then we have to part ways again and as I said goodbye to 2017 I vowed to say goodbye to that foolishness as well.
Listen people in as much as writing for your enjoyment and entertainment gives me great satisfaction I want you to understand that I do foolish things and share them at great price to me to save you a trip. My mom always tells me one thing, you don’t have to learn all things through experience, some things are painful and unnecessary/ painfully unnecessary. And I love her for that, because thanks to her one of you (I say one because humans are born with a unique foolishness of doing the wrong thing despite knowing better) won’t have to encounter the nonsense I had to endure.
Me and people like me have this theory that maybe this time it’ll work, maybe this time he or she won’t do that foolish thing they did the last time. It’s called having faith in people, the wrong people, the kind of people who don’t deserve it. Now this is something I would typically be mad at myself for but what can I say, I’m very human and I’m ok with that 😁. What I’m not okay with is one of my beautiful readers making stupid choices that could be avoided because I’ve done the foot work so you don’t have to.
So I have come up with a theory, now this theory may just explain my behavior but I suspect it may explain a couple other people’s behavior as well. I think for me, when I’m not with the person, I work on myself one because I live spending time with myself and two because I enjoy working on myself and personal growth, it’s something I’m very passionate about. Somehow in the midst of all that I assume that this person has been doing the same. It doesn’t have to be a passion of theirs or whatever but it could be something they do because it has to be done. But as long as the end result is growth/maturity then what difference should it make right?! Same way we apply our shortcomings to people I think this works the same way, so how do we cure ourselves of this foolishness?! Good question I’m glad you asked that.
Write a list of all the things that made you guys part ways the last time, this is not one of those write a list then burn it, no no no, we need that list on record. Write it, include all the things and when he comes have your list on hand says you want to be friends forest you know, you want to take things slow or whatever and during that study the person. Do they still have the qualities that put you off?! If they do then that settles that and if not then stay friends all in all I must make something clear, try and try again may work for a lot of things but relationships I assure you is not one of them. Take it from someone who has tried it and failed.
Not only can you find happiness but you can also create it.
Thing with all humans is that all our lives we have been taught that happiness, our happiness will be brought to us by someone else. That means we can’t have our own, no no, it has to be brought by someone and if that someone never shows up?! Well I’m afraid you’ll just have to settle for being miserable, we apologize.
Does that sound good to you?! Well it doesn’t sound good to me either. As a matter of fact that thought alone is quite depressing. Thing I realised is that happiness doesn’t start from outside of you, starts from within. I know most of you think that you already know all this but I disagree. You think you do but you are still unhappy, why?! Because you are still waiting, go on deny it, I’ll even pretend to believe you. This is wiring we are talking about, you can’t rewire overnight. It’s like self improvement, it takes effort for some a little effort and for others a lot.
Happiness, what makes you happy if you were to live alone for the rest of your life so there was no one to bring happiness to you, what brings you joy?! Think about it I’ll wait. After all I have nowhere else to be but right here with you. I want to help you understand maybe so that I can understand it too. I recently learnt that I love the saxophone, it produces such beautiful music, soothsayer all my demons, helps calm my mind, brings me joy. I love writing, makes me feel like there is more than just me there is something else, someone else I can share with and that makes me happy and being outside after the sun has gone down ofcourse that brings me joy too so I take walks after dusk as often as possible. But there are things that bring you that same kind of joy and you need to find it and it there is nothing to find then create your joy, your happiness. It is really that simple. The first and most important step is that you get over this person who is supposed to bring you joy, happiness and unicorns then everything you’ve every wanted to feel of happiness will come to you and you won’t even have to beg.
The second way to live a full and happy life is to live as if you’ll never die. You’ll notice that the two ways aren’t so very different and that’s the funny thing about life isn’t it?
What does living life as if you’ll never die mean for you?
For me, it means to treat everyone I encounter with kindness because life is a strange thing. Someone who needs you today will be the same person you need tomorrow. To treat everyone with the respect and dignity they deserve as a fellow human no matter where you are in the ranks of life. Understanding that life could change for you in an instant. Understanding that nothing is cast in stone.
It means spending time with my family because they make my life feel full and meaningful and worthwhile. Family is not overrated. It’s the only thing that lasts. It’s the only place you can seek refuge after being beaten up by life. It’s where you are accepted and loved just as you are; loud, obnoxious, opinionated… whatever it may be.
It means giving everything my best because I know that I have all the time in the world to fail even after I’ve given something 100% because I have time to pick up and try again and try again and again until I win. It means that I get to invest in all the things I care about first and foremost being the machine that makes sure I am able to do anything to begin with. That I get to take care of my body and love it with whole foods, proper hydration and meditation. It means understanding that the saying “eat drink and make merry for tomorrow we die” is only for pirates. You try that and you will end up fat, depressed and unemployed/poor. Understanding that you must live life with care because forever is a long time to suffer consequences. It’s a long time to waste behind bars, it’s a long time to spend in a coma, it’s a long time to spend hating yourself, it’s a long time to spend being mediocre.
It means that I will love my partner with everything I’ve got because we have an entire lifetime to love each other and travel and make babies and see the world and have private jokes and break up to make up. Understanding that in the beginning there was God and God was love and that will ever remain his greatest gift to us. The ability to love another who isn’t our kin with all our hearts. Understanding that loving another person is not a weakness, it’s a strength and trying to look all strong and distant is just you wasting your life. Understanding that forever is a long time to be alone. Is a long time to have girls keep away from you because you are too big a coward to give your heart to someone and vice versa.