So a while back I wrote an article on conflict and resolution and I promised that I would write about how conflict can, in fact, be a good thing. I know that there is prevailing bullshit that happy couples don’t fight but rest assured that even the happiest couples have conflicting opinions once in a while and it is needed, it is necessary, it is healthy. Conflicting means that the two of you have conflicting opinions once in a while and that’s okay, that’s totally okay, it doesn’t mean anything other than in that one instance you guys have different opinions. So in that same breath, I will have to explain why I think conflict can be good for a couple.
- Conflict inspires growth. How though? I am so glad you asked. When a couple has a fight over pretty much anything, and they are able to solve the dispute amicably then you and your partner have to grow. And what is growth in this instance? Progress, from one point to another and isn’t that the point? To be able to move forward.
- Conflict also inspires relationship Satisfaction. You are able to fight over the things that make you unhappy and find a way to make them not as annoying or as irritating to you. Fighting or voicing your grievances allows you to let your partner know exactly what you want, exactly what they can do to make you happy or happier, it’s important, see my point?
- What is a relationship without boundaries? Boundaries are needed they practically deserve their own star on the walk of fame. Boundaries only come through conflict and if you never fight then how will the other person know what they can and can’t do, how will they know where the line is? This is important. It’s very very important.
- Conflict Reveals motive. You will never be able to tell what a person is really about or after if you never disagree on anything. Conflict reveals motive, because if he or she is about you, then a fight won’t chase them away, they will stay and you guys will work it out but if they are out to waste your time then the fight will be completely unproductive.
- Conflict inspires Self-disclosure, you find yourself explaining why something pisses you off so much and your partner gets to know you better. Some of the time you find that the thing that pisses you off, pisses you off cause of something so much deeper than you thought and it turns out to be a bonding moment instead of a bashing moment for you and your partner.
- Conflict inspires self-disclosure which in turn inspires Intimacy. Talking about the real reason behind things, revealing things that are deeper than the surface will bring you and your partner closer together. He will understand you better, or she will understand you better and because you were open and vulnerable with them they feel closer to you which is how people get intimate. This I how people become friends, more of it will make you best friends, now you know how that goes.
Okay, so what have we learned here? Conflict isn’t the red, large horned, long-tailed devil it is made out to be. Conflict is good conflict is necessary. Conflict allows us to grow in our relationships, it allows us to self-disclose, it allows us to set boundaries and it reveals the other person’s motives but above all, it gets us closer together it makes us get intimate, now who doesn’t want that? I know I do!
I hope you learned something here today, I hope you hit that like button big time and share this with your friends. Bisou bisou💋💋💋.