Uh, first of all, let’s leave the bullshit in 2017, it’s not me it’s you and you know it!!! Thank you, that is all.
Hello beautiful people happy 2018, I hope you are all doing excellent and starting 2018 with a bang and if you aren’t well,… it’ll come to you and if not, oh well. So I was watching one of my favorite movies of all time “letters to Juliet” [for people who will ask, yes, it is a rom-com and a hardcore chic flick so watch it at your own risk]. As I was watching it I couldn’t help but notice how much bullshit the female lead character had to endure and in the end she had the nerve to give the guy the “it’s not you, it’s me speech” and in my head I was yelling it’s him it’s him it’s him!!!!! Wtf?!!!
Can we talk about this oh so famous five letter speech? I have so many thoughts going through my head about all this I hardly know how to organize my thoughts together but I’ll give it my best shot. As my 2017 came to a close it of course came to a close with a bang. A blast from my past happened as I’m sure some of you can attest to the same, and yes that ordeal does have something to do with all this. There is something that my mom always says when something happens be it good or bad, she asks me what I’ve learnt from it, whatever it is and because of that question being asked so incessantly and because of one of my favourite movies and because of my blast from the past, we have this post today.
When the blast from the past happened it reminded me of something very important, I’d say it taught me something very important but that would be inaccurate because the thing it brought forth was something I already knew but somehow didn’t practice when I was with this particular person but thanks to my mom, finally as the year came to a close the lesson came full circle. I was reminded of who I am of how special and brilliant and excellent I am, that I am worthy of good things, that I am worthy of having everything I want, worthy of a relationship that works, worthy of someone who will give me 100% because I always give 100% and I deserve nothing less in return, it’s funny because a lot of brilliant, excellent women find themselves in similar situations but perhaps to be reminded or taught different lessons, but for me, I realised that it wasn’t me, it was him.
And for all the people out there who don’t deserve to be lied to, let’s be brutally honest with them this year, don’t be shy, you have earned the bluntness, say it IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU!!!
Disclaimer though, I have no intentions of making unkind people out of you, I have been brought up and taught that kindness will take me place and you by extension so that speech is not for that sweet man or that sweet woman who you just can’t make it work with, no, this new version is meant for that bum or that woman who is not trying, who is in and out at the same time, who says things they don’t mean, who makes promises they don’t intend to keep, who lie through their teeth, who are unworthy of your love and your time, who will end up with exactly the person they deserve, the person who is not you.
I don’t think this is something any of us are taught but we have to understand that it’s not always our fault, it’s not always my fault and it’s not always your fault, sometimes it’s that other person’s fault for letting you down, sometimes we just choose wrong and that’s okay, because sometimes people market themselves as things they are not, like some new Colgate my mother bought that promised to be all the things but turned out to be garbage, you see, its fine, we all make that mistake at least once in our lives and that’s okay. The only problem is when we choose wrong and accept that it’s the best you can do, that it’s the best there is. When you start having such conversations with yourself, then it becomes your fault.
Lastly, don’t just pout about it, learn from it, you chose wrong, why? What was it about him that drew you in and what was it about him that pushed you out? What was it about her that made you an idiot? And what was it about her that made you see her for who she really is? These are hard questions, unpleasant ones to hear but they need to be asked and answered and by you, no one can do this for you if you have any hope at all of moving forward.