Extraordinary Vs …everything else

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is a habit, not an act.

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I wasn’t going to write because I didn’t think I had anything to say but really, I always have something to say it’s just that if I wrote down everything I had to say we would be here until the second coming. There is something I have been thinking about for a little while now I just couldn’t because I didn’t really know how to put it. I didn’t really know how to properly articulate myself but I think now I have the words to make an attempt at it if nothing else.

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It’s about being different and I don’t mean being queer or gay or any of that other new age stuff I mean being extraordinary, i mean striving for excellence which is in no way to be confused with perfection. Being utterly and completely yourself; your best self in the midst of people wanting you to be mediocre. I go to school everyday because I’m a full-time student but you find that people want to go to class in their pajamas then give you shade for dressing like a respectable young adult. I know this may seem petty but what can I say, I’m petty sometimes😂. And yes this does bother me because if you want to be mediocre then why does it have to be a team thing be mediocre by yourself wear your pajamas to school and let the rest of us look like adults. The fact of the matter is that you’ll find that only 10% care about presentation and presentation starts with the way we look. I know instinct pushes us to go on the defensive and bring up that don’t judge a book by its cover nonsense but the fact is that before you approach someone, anyone, you first do a quick analysis about them based purely on how they look, go on, deny it, I dare you😂.

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So you see there is a point to this. I’m on this little team called the winning team/the extraordinary team. The team that knows and understands that winning doesn’t just happen it takes a lot of things, a lot of little things that make you a winner on the daily. You have to always prime yourself. And the best way to prime yourself is looking like that person you want to be when you grow up. What does she dress in everyday? If you don’t practice being her/him you’ll never be that person. Practise/routine is what makes us who we are or who we aspire to be. A very wise man said that we are what we repeatedly do. If you attend class in your pajamas and flipflops guess what, that is in fact who you are. So if you are on the winning team, the extraordinary team you have no time for people who only aspire to be mediocre, let them talk. after all,Image result for mediocrity.

Be your best self.  Strive to do better everyday and give them something to talk about.

My Wednesday miracle

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I missed the bus two days in a row. Who does that?! Seriously though what’s that about?! So anyway the first time I missed the bus this semester was Tuesday it wasn’t great I was late, the class was hard, the lec was mad, I mean it was a whole thing but in the midst of all that someone was very kind to me and they reminded me that it’s not always about me. Sometimes we get too self-involved we go around scowling and squawking like a bunch of adolescents and forget that it’s not all about us. That was a nice reminder but that’s not what today’s story is about.

Today’s story is about Wednesday. On Wednesdays I have an 11 am class so there I was leaving the house at 9:40 ish and turns out there was some marching by this group or the other feels like there is always someone protesting or Marching for some reason anyway I didn’t know about it so that literally stopped traffic I don’t mean cars crawling through traffic slowly I mean cars not moving even had people turning off their engines and everything. All in all it was a day for a miracle I just didn’t know it yet. My charger had been acting up big time and I really really needed a new one I thought to order one online then that would have extra charges you know shipping and what not but then I really needed one I didn’t know it at the time but thanks to all that marching I missed my bus and wound up going all the way into town buying my charger and only being 11 minutes late to my class. You could call this whatever you want but to me, it was a miracle. My Wednesday miracle.

A glimpse of fear

“this too shall pass”

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I know of fear and of what it’s like to be afraid. I know to have lived with a man who would have slaughtered me and my family in our sleep. I know what it’s like to only be half asleep because how can one sleep soundly knowing that in just the next room is a maniac who loses his temper and has violent outbursts. I know what it’s like to jump every time you hear a knock on your door because you just don’t know what will happen when you say “come in” or worse still what will happen when you open it yourself.

I saw fear again today. I was on a bus on my way to school this morning and we got to the UoN bridge you know the one at chiromo and because the bus wasn’t full yet they stopped to pick up some passengers. There was one more space left, the one at the front, near the driver. One would think seating at the front is preferable because of the extra leg space all ye who have long legs say “AMEN”😂. So this woman, she looks into the bus, the back of it had no space the only space available was in the front, I quite literally observed as the hairs on her arms and legs jumped off her body as she shook her head  to say ‘no I’m fine I’ll just wait for the next one’. But people are kind very kind. Someone offered to move to the front so that she could have a seat in the back. I saw a look in her eyes a look I knew all too well. A look that was a friend of mine for a long time. I sympathized. I wanted to tell her that I understand and it’s okay. This too shall pass. In time everything goes away.

Difficult Women

Liquor, Loans & Love

I attract difficult women.

Women who don’t fit small hands or small plans. Who burn, incandescent with desire. Magic women. Warrior women. Women ill shaped to live in the residences of archaic ideas and grayscale archetypes. Women who are vermilion and canary and titian and cobalt. Who say the scary things and slay the dragons. Whom people find too hot, too cold, too loud, too brash, too too.

Women who are sewn together at the seams with steel. Who bend and even break but are never broken. Shiny, hard candy women who are bright and tough on the outside and a million things you’d never expect inside.

We know what you say about us when we’re not in earshot.

We are too much. Too hard. That we are more war than woman. That we’re too hard to love, when it’s you who’s never been taught to love without swallowing…

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This is where I leave you

“giving up and quitting lures you in like a siren leading a sailor to his death”.

I woke up today and I felt like I was failing. It felt like everything I have been dreaming of and working towards was crushing right from under me. I’d had a restful night though so I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee and some breakfast and the thoughts going through my mind were that I was failing and failing and maybe it was time I quit after all, what do I have to show for all my efforts really?! And even though there is some evidence of an attempt is it enough?!

And if I were to quit, it’s not like I can’t get a job, after all I’m a hard worker and a strategic thinker, I would thrive in corporate so I should quit right?! After all the benefits of being an employee far outweigh the benefits of being a struggling entrepreneur or being a freelancer right?! See that, that’s the quitting mentality leading me to my doom like a siren leading a sailor to his death. I see the allure of quitting. I see it all. I hear it too all around me and sometimes it’s louder than others and I have to ask myself, to quit or not to quit?! Why go on when the thought of quitting looks so much more appealing?!

I could work hard in school and after that seek employment like my classmates you know, except that’s not me. I will fail a thousand times before I give up on my dreams. I don’t have dreams of employment, I never have. But it’s hard and I’m having a hard time today, today I’m sad, today I’m having a hard time believing in myself and that’s okay because that’s part of the process. It would be so much easier throw my hands up and give up but then all those years will have been for nothing and in all honesty if it was easy, everyone would do it. Also I can’t afford it, it’s simply too costly for me, too much of myself has already gone into creating what I want, too much time, too many resources.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, hopefully I’ll wake up and remember what all this is for, what all this pain is for, hopefully I’ll remember where I’m going.

Happiness, not only but also…

“not only can you find it but you can also create it”

Not only can you find happiness but you can also create it.

Thing with all humans is that all our lives we have been taught that happiness, our happiness will be brought to us by someone else. That means we can’t have our own, no no, it has to be brought by someone and if that someone never shows up?! Well I’m afraid you’ll just have to settle for being miserable, we apologize.

Does that sound good to you?! Well it doesn’t sound good to me either. As a matter of fact that thought alone is quite depressing. Thing I realised is that happiness doesn’t start from outside of you, starts from within. I know most of you think that you already know all this but I disagree. You think you do but you are still unhappy, why?! Because you are still waiting, go on deny it, I’ll even pretend to believe you. This is wiring we are talking about, you can’t rewire overnight. It’s like self improvement, it takes effort for some a little effort and for others a lot.

Happiness, what makes you happy if you were to live alone for the rest of your life so there was no one to bring happiness to you, what brings you joy?! Think about it I’ll wait. After all I have nowhere else to be but right here with you. I want to help you understand maybe so that I can understand it too. I recently learnt that I love the saxophone, it produces such beautiful music, soothsayer all my demons, helps calm my mind, brings me joy. I love writing, makes me feel like there is more than just me there is something else, someone else I can share with and that makes me happy and being outside after the sun has gone down ofcourse that brings me joy too so I take walks after dusk as often as possible. But there are things that bring you that same kind of joy and you need to find it and it there is nothing to find then create your joy, your happiness. It is really that simple. The first and most important step is that you get over this person who is supposed to bring you joy, happiness and unicorns then everything you’ve every wanted to feel of happiness will come to you and you won’t even have to beg.

A. R. K

Act of Random Kindness. How many of you have watched Evans almighty By show of hand?! I got this beautiful beautiful acronym from it. Ofcourse I’ve never thought about it until just now but then again, we don’t need things until we need them if that makes any sense. So there is a story to this ofcourse, there is always a story. So I made it through Monday that’s the day fall semester classes were starting, that probably was the wrong way to go about it, for me that is, but I needn’t bore you with that today.

So school was starting and I had this whole list of things to do, I am a lists person, I like to plan out my days a week in advance so on Monday I went to finance to swipe a card to pay for transport and then the card wasn’t working it said insufficient funds but it had funds in it, it just wasn’t working that day, already that put me in a mood because that was going to lead to a chain of other things that I had to do,  and failing to swipe that card successfully put a pause to other things.  So  my day wasn’t off to the best start. So I left finance and went to the cafeteria, thank the Lord for coffee by the way otherwise I don’t know that anyone that met me that day would ever speak to me again. The coffee helped put me in a better mood and allowed me to calm down and sort things out. While I was seated there trying to adjust my schedule, something told me to show someone some kindness and pouty as I was, I complied because my higher self told me to and I can hardly put this into words but it felt so good for me, probably more than it felt good for the other person. It made me realise something, good and positive energy we give, kindness we show other people is for us more than it is for anybody else.

For me, that small thing fixed my whole day. After that everything else went better, felt better. And I am so, so glad that I can show someone else kindness, this is something that I can do, I say this because I know so many of us have opportunities to do the same but we choose different. I tell you now though, the next time you have any such opportunity, please choose kindness, once you do and feel that surge of positive energy it injects into you, into your day and your life, you’ll never choose differently ever again.