WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

The problem people is that we are corner cutters. That is the problem. No one wants to do things the right way anymore, no one cares about protocol or process.

See that doubtful look on your face… well allow me to remove that doubt, let’s look at a few examples, shall we? We want to lose weight without exercise, we want to know a Story instead of reading the book we wait for the movie, we want a happy marriage but we are all over the place fornicating and yet we ask for Gods favor in finding a husband or a wife. We want good grades but we don’t want to study, we would rather cheat instead, we want to take drugs but we aren’t ready for the consequences. We want to have bodies free from STIs yet we are first in line to have unprotected sex. We want to go up the professional ladders but instead of working for it we sleep with the boss, yet we say we want to be respected. You want to be treated like a lady but you make the word HOE look bad. All your pictures on social media are of you half naked, you want a marriage where your husband will be faithful but yet you’re sleeping and living off other people’s husbands. Well let me just tell you right now my dear he will cheat on you left, right and center even when you have that 30,000/-ksh weave on your head even if you are a size Beyoncé or whatever, he will cheat because everything goes full circle. You steal and wreck someone’s home but just you remember that when you’re 40 there will be a 20 year old somewhere who looks way better than you ever did at 20 who will set her eyes on your husband, and while I would love to go into the details of what would go down, I’m certain you can already play out the whole scene in your mind.

We have people all over the internet saying that we are being brainwashed, isn’t it time we stopped and listened? The best mind controllers are the ones who give you the illusion that you are still in control. The funny thing is that so many people don’t realize it, of course, they don’t. Without God’s discernment, how can you tell your right hand from the left one? [Easy internet trolls that was a metaphor].

How are we being brainwashed you ask? Mh, let’s look at that briefly shall we? Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Of course you do, and why is that? Well all the Kardashian do it and we see it all day in movies and on TV, and even on radio they tell us that if we do not succumb and have sex with our boyfriends they will cheat on us, and they will leave us, and you know… we won’t be cool and current or trendy. Do you think that it’s okay to take drugs? Of course you do, all celebrities do it right in front of us, and it looks like even their government is cool with it, so it’s obviously okay to put our bodies in harm’s way. Definitely okay for us to tattoo and pierce the temple of God, and fornicate in his temple and violate it in all other ways right? God must be so pleased by how we revel in the filth that Satan has laid before us. He must be so pleased that he sent us a plague called HIV, he was so pleased that there is now HPV, which by the way is not easily detectable in the blood. He is so pleased that he blessed us with cancer that causes our loved ones to live in unimaginable pain all the days of their lives. He is so pleased that global warming is consuming us, He is so pleased that we have floods that wash entire shore line’s away, He is so pleased that he sends us tsunamis and hurricanes, He is so pleased that he has left us at the mercy of Satan[who by the way came to cheat steal and destroy us].

We are either blind or incredibly stupid, or both, …yes most of us are both, we are told that there is no way that you can be happy if you don’t have a 6-figure salary, there is just no way that your husband can just love you and desire you and just stay with you, he needs a wife, a mistress, a girlfriend and a baby momma for his life to be complete. Isn’t that what they tell us, and don’t we eat that junk right off of the palms of their hands? They tell boys that it is okay to wear your trousers around your knees, no one cares for the waist anymore.

This is the truth, we are corner cutters and that is why we are so unhappy. Even when you make it in life, you die at 35; no time to enjoy what you’ve worked for. All that money you will have clawed your way up the ladder for, all that money that caused you to lose friends and get de touched from your relatives, all that money, if you wrote a will well good for you but otherwise, it will just be absorbed by the bank after a few years. So thank you for losing your soul in the name of Barclays or KCB or whatever. Are you feeling foolish yet?! If not give it a day or two. The thing with the truth is that you can’t hide from it. It will reveal itself to you, sooner or later and after all, at the end of the day a man will reap what he saws… what have you been planting?

 

Editor’s note: thanks to all my new readers you guys are getting to be so many… anyway I thank God for all of you.

 

 

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DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME

Gratitude, be grateful. It’s the simplest thing in the world I think but at the same time, I think it can also be the hardest thing in the world to do. I think it’s harder for some people than it is for others and I may not know all the reasons why but I think one of the greatest reasons is that the minute you decide to be grateful you realise just how spoilt you are and just how much you have and how big of a whiner you are. Yes, I said it! Shoot me if you will but it’s absolutely true, most of us are blessed beyond measure. Everything we need, we already have and everything we want is totally within our reach but do we opt to be grateful, no, never, we would rather complain and whine about the bad things happening that usually are small and insignificant and that mind you happen to everyone and probably way worse than you.

Anyway enough of the scolding, I had an interesting week. I ran late to leave the house all week long and didn’t miss the school bus once, I thought about that, I thought about that long and hard and decide that being grateful is something I should write about again, yes I did write about this sometime last year I don’t recall when but I think it’s time for a refresher course and what better time to decide to be grateful than at the start of a new year? We can all do this right by starting our year with gratitude trust me it’s good for the soul. I did the gratitude jar challenge last year and it was wonderful so this year I decided to do a gratitude journal challenge instead and last year I was in some random group for women but this year I’m doing the challenge with my sister and I couldn’t be more excited.

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So I could go on and on about this but can we just talk about why being grateful is awesome?

  1. It’s totally free, duh! And come now people who doesn’t like free things? Seriously though who doesn’t like free things? I know I do. Here, I challenge you to start the gratitude challenge with one of your friends or siblings or co-workers, doesn’t matter who just get you a partner. Being grateful is good for you J and if you can do it with someone even better!!!

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    You don’t have to start so far, you can just start with the fact that you are alive today 🙂
  2. It makes you feel good. Being grateful, acknowledging good things produces happy hormones in our bodies which we all know are good for us, they reduce our stress levels and help us deal with our daily life issues so much better so why not be grateful and start dealing with things better today?Image result for gratitude
  3. Attracts more things to be grateful for. I don’t know what the science is behind this but I know for a fact that most of you would agree with me on this. Appreciating good things attracts more good things. Big and small without discrimination. This is one of the things that I learned doing the gratitude challenge for the first time last year. You guys just have to try it, it will change everything.Image result for gratitude
  4. Helps you appreciate the little things. I would have never been able to appreciate something as small as catching the bus when chance of me actually catching the bus that morning are slim to none, but when you start being grateful for it the event is somehow illuminated, it becomes something that you can see, as opposed to living your life as a robot and you know just going through the motions as most of us do these days.
  5. Slows you down and allows you to see the bigger picture. Most of us are working very hard to achieve this o that or the other thing but how often do we remember to get out of the rat chase and evaluate? Or just even to appreciate our progress? I have never really given much thought to the fact that, the longer my days are, the more tired I am, the more I feel like everything is spinning out of control the more I forget what the whole point is. The faster my life is moving the more I forget what the bigger picture actually is. I don’t know if it’s the same for any of you but this is how it feels for me. What gratitude did/does for me is it allows me to review the events of my day, it totally slowed me down, gave me time to actually look and see what it is that has me moving so fast and reminds me of what the bigger picture actually is and I think, no, I know it will do the same for you.

Being grateful or rather choosing to be grateful is the best thing anyone could choose to do for themselves. It is like a master cleanse for the soul or nothing like that, every time you do it leaves you feeling totally refreshed and well… thankful.Image result for gratitude

 

 

Be grateful, do it for me, but more importantly do it for yourself. Thanks so much for stopping by. Don’t forget to hit the like button below and share this with someone who you know needs gratitude magic in their life.

Can people really change?

I think the popular word on the street is that people don’t change. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard growing up all these years. They even sing it in frozen that people don’t really change, but I disagree. I think that if people are capable of growth, then they are capable of change. Because what is change? And what is growth? I have always thought they were reflections of each other in some way.

Change

tʃeɪn(d)ʒ/Submit

Verb

1. Make or become different.

Grow

ɡrəʊ/Submit

Verb

Come into existence and develop

Develop

Dɪˈvɛləp/Submit

Verb

1.

Grow or cause to grow and become more mature, advanced, or elaborate.

“Motion pictures were to develop into mass entertainment”

Synonyms:          grow, evolve, mature, expand, enlarge, spread, advance, progress, prosper, succeed, thrive, get on well, flourish, blossom, bloom, burgeon, make headway, be successful

Okay first I love words, I love how some words marry each other, and it’s just so fascinating. Anyway I digress, so back to what we were talking about earlier about whether or not people change. Let’s look at the three words I’ve pulled out if the online dictionary. Grow, change and develop. See how they all turn into the same word? Honestly it is quite amazing; all to say that if you are growing, then you must change, you can’t grow without developing and you can’t develop and remain the same person you’ve always been, it just isn’t possible.

So what brought all this on? That is an excellent question. I was watching the Mindy project last night it was the last episode of season 6, by the way if you’ve never seen the show you should totally check it out. Anyway, she was giving a toast at her co-workers wedding and she was talking about how these two co-workers weren’t meant to be together before but they were now because people grow, people change, and the funny thing about it is that it happens so gradually that you almost cant… and then she had an epiphany and ran out of the wedding.

In that moment while she was having her epiphany it made me realise just how profound all that is. It got me thinking about someone who once upon a time I thought was my happily ever after. I thought about them and about what Mindy had just said and I thought that it was about them and in that moment I had an epiphany of my own, that the profoundness of what Mindy had said was because it was for me, it was about me. About how much I had changed, about how I had grown, about how I wasn’t the person I once was. So in case you didn’t believe it, take it from me, I am a living testimony, people can change. If they can grow, then they can change. And if they refuse to grow, then it’s not your job to make them. I know that was women we have this line we say to ourselves, I can change him, no honey, you really really can’t. The only person who can change him, is himself. And it’s not your job to make that happen either, your only job is to grow yourself, and to continue to grow.

 

 

Editor’s note: thanks for visiting my blog and if you liked it please hit the follow button to join the obdurate fam and if you liked this article please hit the like button below.

Expectation VS reality

 

The growth process, expectation Vs REALITY

 

So a while ago I did a bad thing. I knew it was bad the whole time but I did it anyway and the funny thing is that I wasn’t sad about it, I didn’t feel guilty or anything like that which is funny to me because I typically I’m very hard on myself. I like to kick myself when I’m down and hold myself up to the highest possible standards. And now here is the irony of it all; this one time that I don’t do any of the things that I would typically do, I had an epiphany. Instead of the kicking and self-loathing, I just observed my behavior and asked myself why I would do something that I knew was wrong. Not in a tone to suggest judgment just pure curiosity and a yearning to understand my actions.

I never really noticed this until just now actually as I am typing this that the meditation I have been doing may have had something to do with all this. One of the quotes from my meditations said that we aren’t able to reach enlightenment until we are able to observe our thoughts and actions. And honestly, I think this article is a testimony to that. As soon as I took a step back from it all and observed it wanting to understand, I was able to see the truth in it all. The truth was that the growth process is not at all what I thought it was. It’s not a straight line that only moves forward. Its perhaps more complex than I thought. I realised that it’s okay to take a step back during the growth process because it’s not until we are faced with situations that we have dealt with in the past that we can truly see the growth in how we are able to deal with the same situations differently, better, with more wisdom.

 

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Staying vigilant and persistent on the fact that at the end of the day, Personal Growth is the point, the MAIN point.

 

Therefore it’s okay to make a mistake, just as long as, you use it to grow. As long as you take a step back to really look at it from every angle and ask yourself, why you created this situation, why you attracted it to your life and more importantly, what the situation has to teach you.

Think for yourself

 

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I suppose this is the journey I’m now on

 

My girlfriend and I have been on two opposite sides of something very important. Something I needed her support on, something I needed her to get behind, because somehow I had convinced myself that if she could just get behind it, if she could just tell me that she was okay with it then somehow I would be okay with it too. I was looking to her to defend it, to give it pro points so it can be worthy enough to me but she didn’t. Instead she attacked it and told me of all the reasons why I am on the wrong side, that I am making the wrong choice, quick disclaimer though, life is as unpredictable as change and if I am infact wrong, then so be it. Then I’ll be wrong, I’ll be knocked off my pedestal and I will pick myself up as I have before and my life will go on as it always has, but if I am right, and I let this very important thing go because I am here waiting for someone else to see how amazing it is, how it challenges me in ways that I didn’t expect, how it is teaching me all these things that I couldn’t even see, because I didn’t want to see any of it, because the one person who I wanted to think and feel for me was feeling what felt to me as wrong, and who’s fault is that?

Mine!!!

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Of course it’s all my fault! Because I can’t have someone thinking for me, what’s my brain for? While she’s thinking for me where do I park my brain? What is so important, that while I think of it I have to outsource all my other thoughts to my friend? Seriously what is wrong with me? It’s almost laughable except it only makes me want to cry, because all this is so sad. To have done what I was doing, I mean it yielded the result that it did and in the end, I have learned so much but the process is truly brutal. To look at myself and want to slap myself so hard, or sit myself down and give myself a stern talking to for being so lazy and mediocre and whatever the opposite of enlightened is. It’s funny, my mother had to quite literally beg me to read Conversations With God and now I live by it, and now because of it, I am being introduced to myself each day. It’s because of this beautiful book that I came to this very conclusion.

 

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I think that for anyone going through what I was/am going through, this is probably one of the best pieces of advice anyone could give.

 

The conclusion here is that to be great, to be enlightened, to be of independent thought, to be the me that I aspire to be,  I can’t be who I was, I can’t be the girl to say “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it”, that can’t be who I am if I aspire to be someone capable of making her own choices. I simply can’t be lazy about it. I have to sit down and ask myself the hard questions and come up with answers for myself and own the consequences they yield. I have to be the one to decide; what I’m doing, where I’m going, who stays in my life and who leaves, because no one else knows what I know, no one is on the same journey as me, so no one else can make the choices on my behalf. I have to be a big girl about this, about all of it, and think for myself, because that’s what big girls do.

 

Thanks a heap indecision😒

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I haven’t been sleeping well lately, all week actually. I feel like last night was the first time I actually fell asleep and slept through the night. But in truth I was so tired it was either I sleep voluntarily or collapse from exhaustion. Anyway, I thought that the insomnia was being caused by my menses which may be TMI but I’d like to think we are all adults here. So anyway I thought that my lack of sleep was being caused by an overwhelming surge of hormones that were running up and down my body but after last night I realized that I might have been very wrong about that.

I’ve been really stressed all week. I was dealing with something that felt heavy to me. I was torn between two choices that at the time seemed like they would throw my whole life out of balance so naturally, they took over my whole brain and ofcourse to add salt to it I had a CAT, the final CAT before I have to sit my accounting finals and so I had that to worry about as well and ofcourse I was having trouble concentrating because of this other thing in my mind so finally something had to give. I read for my paper as best I could, I sat and wrote the damn thing and to be perfectly honest with you I was just glad that I had one less thing to think and worry about. And after that, I just came home and slept. I was incapable of doing anything else. My body was about to give out on me. We [my body and I] had gotten to that place of either give me rest or I take it, your choice.

 

Me all week long

 

Next day after that I spent some time with one of my girlfriends and we talked about all the things and it made me realise that I was looking at everything the wrong way, I was deciding things off of feelings instead of facts and that’s just never worked for me before why would it work for me now? So I sat down with a virtual piece of paper in my mind and I decided you know what? I’m on Lavender’s team and all I care about is what makes Lavender happy and just like that, I made a decision. Little did I know that the indecision was what was preventing me from getting any sleep? Like I said, sometimes complex problems have simple solutions, Thursday night, I slept like a baby.

Personal growth

I remember some time ago I came across a quote that read that when God wants you to grow, he makes you uncomfortable. Of course I was in agreement immediately but notice how when some quotes apply directly to your life you get all grouchy and pissed? Yes, that was me not too long ago. This last weekend actually.

I know that personal growth is a broad subject but given this is not an academic blog I will stick to my personal growth. I was talking with one of my girlfriends about an ex-boyfriend. You know, one of those exes that had you pretty much brainwashed? Yap one of those. Mine was tall dark and handsome, how did I yours look like? What made them seem so great at the time? I would love to know. Anyway so we got to talking and out of nowhere, she started saying that I still loved him and I was like, what? No, I don’t!!! If I loved him still I would be with him but I’m not because I don’t love him. But she kept on saying it over and over again and I was so mad but at the same time it planted doubt in my head and I can see your face scowling don’t worry this was a good thing.

It was a good thing because it made me think about it a lot, it made me think about him too and how it all went down. And aside from the amazing rolling in the hay sessions, ours was a pretty toxic relationship and the worst part was how perfect it looked from the outside and yet inside I was screaming at myself for being so foolish and stuck. I called him that night just because I didn’t have all the answers I needed to make a well-educated verdict because at that point it wasn’t really about what or how I felt because I knew how I felt already, I was done loving him a long time ago, so that really wasn’t an issue. So why did I feel like I still needed closure? Because I did of course. So that beautiful man and I had a chat and two minutes into the conversation I had my closure.

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All, the questions I had were answered to satisfaction, he didn’t say anything bad or mean, but in that moment I remembered why I had to leave him, the same person that I would choose over and over again over pretty much everyone else and at that moment, I couldn’t think of choosing him over anyone. Funny how someone who made me feel so unhappy would be the key to my personal growth; life is a funny thing. That night, he delivered an intricate part of me to myself and I am so grateful my friend pushed me as she did that night. I am so glad I dated this person and that the relationship was a brilliant failure and I am grateful that he brought me to myself. I am grateful that I am in a position to watch myself grow and be grateful for it.

As I have said time and time again because I don’t know you guys on a personal level I can’t share your stories but you all have them, it’s my hope that you can take something from my story though. I know that when relationships crash and burn we often look at the aftermath with so much hate and anger and sometimes pain but after all that its good to find time to heal then go back to the crime scene and see what really happened, not just according to you, but according to both of you. I am learning to constantly reevaluate what I think I know, and therefore learning to have my eyes more open, figuratively speaking of course because sometimes complicated problems have simple solutions.