Not too long ago I wrote a post on gone with the wind which I shall link here, I wrote about lessons we can learn from the main characters, Scarlet and Rhett. Today, however, will be lessons we can apply in our own lives to be more like Scarlet and I mean a spitfire like her who wouldn’t want to be more like scarlet even just a tiny bit? There is so much about scarlet that I love that I almost don’t know where to begin.
For anyone who hasn’t a clue as to what I am talking about, Scarlet O’Hara is one of the best characters ever written in my humble opinion from a classic romance movie called Gone with the wind. It is truly a great movie. If you haven’t watched it I would highly recommend that you do.
- Be strong
I will be the first to admit that several movies depict strong women. I won’t be listing them here but if you would be interested in such a list for movies to watch with strong women then you can let me know in the comment section below and I will make one. Back to scarlet, scarlet went to Atlanta to “heal” from the passing of her first husband and when she returns, she finds her mother has just passed on and her father seems to have lost his mind as a result of losing his wife. Of course, when she sees her mother’s lifeless body she cries but it doesn’t last. She immediately makes funeral arrangements and then shortly after the war ends her father dies too not too long after her mother but she doesn’t curl up and cry about it, she takes over the farm and overseeing the farm and not only that but she also tends the farm herself, a young woman who was used to a life of luxury. I mean how she handles it is just so inspiring to me. When I think about being strong, scarlet often comes to mind. And not only that but also how composed she was while it was all happening. It was just amazing to watch.
- Tomorrow is another day
There is this line she says quite a lot in the movie, she says, I can’t think about that now, I’ll think about that tomorrow. Lol even when she kills a Yankee in self-defense, she looks down a the dead body and says, well I guess I’ve done murder, but I can’t think about that now, I’ll think about that tomorrow. I mean, there are hardly any words for that amount of composure. I don’t mean we should go around killing people, god no! I just love how she can plan her thoughts in a way that is helpful at the time. Some of us are pros at worrying, some of us more than others. Being an expert at worrying myself I am really taking notes with this one. I don’t take that line at face value. To me, that line translates as I can’t think about this now because I have more important things to think about so I’ll just let it go. I need to learn how to only pay attention to the things that matter. I think it is important that I learn how to do that as a working adult.
- Love looks like many things
Love looks like many things. In my opinion, the happiest marriage scarlet had was with Mr. Kennedy. I’m pretty sure some people would strongly oppose it but it seemed to work. Those two were oddly suited. Mr. Kennedy knew when to leave scarlet alone and despite how thorny she could come across he seemed to be able to cushion her. I know it’s not the fireworks type of love but sometimes a warm steady fire is better than fireworks I wager. Having someone who gets you 90% of the time, someone who gets it right more than they get it wrong, someone like Mr. Kennedy, in the end, their marriage wound up being less hurtful than the marriage between Scarlet and Rhett.
- Love and pride don’t mix
This was always the problem between Scarlet and Rhett. In all honesty, I wished they could work it out but having encountered a few relationships both up close and from afar I know that love and pride are like oil and water, they just don’t mix. From the beginning this was the issue here, it wasn’t Rhett’s pride that worried me though, it’s scarlet’s pride. In the piece on lessons from Gone with the wind, I said that scarlet is not perfect, in fact, she is flawed in so many ways and her pride ultimately killed her marriage. It’s funny, I used to be just like that in relationships, always too proud to let anyone in, too proud to say what I mean and what I feel and I have all those failed relationships to show for it. There are no pride trophies in a relationship. It just leaves you sad and alone.
- That Boss Babe!
If I wasn’t already a diehard fan of Scarlet O’Hara then I would go all fan girl just for this. First, she revives the cotton farm that is Tara then when she marries Mr. Kennedy she takes over the milling business and actually makes it huge. She has this amazing entrepreneurial spirit that just won’t quit. I mean she had to learn the hard way which was unfortunate. The war taught her that there is nothing more important than money and she didn’t intend on being without it ever again. That mentality made her money and tones of it. Lol, there is this one scene close to the end of the movie where she’s sitting on the balcony in some blue velvet gown with a fur coat or something and she just looks like that rich bit** and every time I think about it all I can think is, Scarlet you are #Goals!!!
- I’ll go looking like a Queen
This reminds me of something my mom used to tell us growing up, no one knows the situation where you’re coming from and in fact, it is none of their business, yours is to present yourself the best way you can because when people see you, the only thing they’ll know about you will be based on the clothes on your back and nothing else so you have to always put your best foot forward, to date I can’t so much as go to the neighborhood convenience store looking raggedy, I simply can’t get myself to do it. If I must leave the house then I must look decent. This resonates with the time that scarlet needed $300.00 to save her beloved Tara and she knew that Rhett could get her out of this mess so she tells mammy that she is going to Atlanta to the money and she is going to go looking like a queen and even though it didn’t get her the money from Rhett, it got her a husband and the money to save Tara.
- Self-awareness is key
This happened just as the movie as coming to a close it’s like after all this time she finally figured out who she is and who she loved. So apparently she was in love with Rhett this whole time she was just caught up chasing something that doesn’t exist. This is why self-awareness is so important. Self-awareness allows us to know who we are and once we do that we become Intune with our deepest desires and emotions. Only people who don’t know themselves chase the wrong things for years and years and it doesn’t have to be people like in scarlet’s case, sometimes we get caught up chasing friends, jobs, family members, listen, I will save you some leg work, if someone doesn’t want to be associated with you that’s okay, let them go. Cry about it, mourn them, go for therapy but let them go. You will feel so much better after, I promise.
- Sometimes the end justifies the means
For scarlet to where she was by the time the movie was coming to a close so much had happened, there was so much water under the bridge, she had changed in so many ways but there is something I realized and it’s that sometimes the end justifies the means. I mean she did a lot of horrible things too but in the end, it saved her whole family, it saved their family home, their farm, everything. I think that in life no matter what we do here will always be collateral damage, the only question becomes whether or not the collateral is something you can deal with, unfortunately, most of the time this winds up being something that only the individual can decide because should something go wrong, there should be no one to blame but yourself.
- Comparison is the thief of joy
Throughout the movie, we see Scarlet always glancing over at Mellie at what Mellie and her husband have and that hit just broke my heart. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. She could have chosen to be happy with what she had, I think the only time she was able to forget Ashley was when she was with Mr. Kennedy because they don’t show us her pining at Ashley while she was with him but when she married Rhett it was like taking twenty steps back. Scarlet would have been so much happier had she chosen to accept defeat and move on.
- Hold on to happiness
The final thing scarlet had to teach me is that happiness is an inside job. I watched her life with Rhett and even after they had Bonnie [their baby] things just didn’t get any better, they remained just as void as they were before Bonnie. It dawned on me that Scarlet simply wasn’t happy, she just didn’t have any joy of her own so try as Rhett may, it just was never enough, it was like trying to fill a cup with a mesh bottom base, it was futile and when bonnie died, it’s like that final candle was blown off. Happiness is an inside job, it is up to all individuals to make themselves happy. It’s not my fiancé’s job to make me happy, I don’t think she could if she tried but she can add to my happiness by sharing with me the things that make her happy and I can do the same. Before i conclude, there is this one line by Rhett Buttler that I’d like to leave with you all, Rhett says, You know I feel sorry for you Scarlett, you are throwing away happiness with both hands and chasing after something you don’t understand”. I don’t know who needed to hear those words but there you go.
Well, I hope this helps. I definitely loved writing this so I hope you’ll love reading it. Thank you so much for stopping by, if you liked this then be sure to hit the like button below, and for more posts like this, hit the follow button below. See you in my next post, XOXO!