I’ve been on tinder on and off since I found out that it exists and each time I got frustrated I found it was because I was trying to use it for the wrong thing and this is not just a me thing. I think we have all been stung by frustration from trying to milk this hen that is tinder. I don’t expect that by now there would be someone reading this who is completely unfamiliar with tinder, but just to be sure, tinder is an app that was originally created to meet new people. Not to date them, not to find your next husband or wife but as a platform to socialize and get exposure through the same.
After having a conversation with my girlfriend last Tuesday I decided that perhaps someone ought to explain how to win this. If Tinder is a game, then these are the rules:
Don’t go there looking for love. Understand that tinder makes it only too easy to replace you as a girlfriend or boyfriend and therefore a substantial relationship is impossible. No one is going to bleed and beg and sweat for you when they know they can just dump you and 15 minutes later have someone they’re interested in and a prospective future partner. Do you see this visious cycle being created 😂?! This is why you don’t go on tinder looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Don’t look for anything substantial either. Aside from romantic entanglements don’t go there looking for best friends and what not. Friends are not made in this way unless they are the kind to befriend today and forget tomorrow. Loyalty can not/never be found like this. I stress this because the relationship I have with my best friend is more intimate than any other I’ve ever had even with people I have dated in the past and therefore I don’t expect that the same can be found by swiping right because friendships are hard and you know the old adage easy come easy go.
Don’t catch feelings. Please don’t go around catching feelings. It is not necessary and these people you don’t know are not worth even an ounce of your emotions. It is that simple. So you liked someone and they weren’t what you thought? Big deal! Just keep it moving. Trust me you’ll meet someone all round better, all round better!!! Trust me on that so no catching feelings.
Take what someone says at face value and only at that. Please, when you meet someone and they tell you they are just there for the sex and you stick around, it is on you!!! Don’t cry or pout about it, you made your fuckboy bed, you MUST therefore lie in it by yourself, in silence and humility. Don’t be stressing your girlfriends for no reason. He told you, he was honest with you from the start so NO, you are not allowed to pretend to be hurt. If someone says they are there just for the purpose which tinder was created which is to make friends and to socialize or to network, listen!!! Don’t be talking about how you like him or you like her but she’s not returning your feelings, keep those grievances to yourself.
And lastly remember all the rules. Meeting people on tinder is like engaging in a cutty buddy relationship. Just use it for what’s it’s intended. Make friends, socialize, learn about different cultures and professions, quench the loneliness and keep it moving. Use it to get exposure and network and make professional friends. Do the smart thing and create smart relationships that will benefit you. If you are a fuckboy, do your thing🙌 and if you are a good girl don’t be stupid, you are making good girls look bad😒.
Closing remarks. I know some of you will be like you met your boyfriend on tinder and you love him and you guys are happy and to that I’d say shut up! Come back when he proposes. And if he never does well then I told you so😏. And if he doesn’t then I humbly accept but like, what are the chances of that happening?! Tinder is a wonderful platform with an infinite number of benefits but ONLY if you use it as it should be used. Don’t just take my word for it, try it, use the rules I have blessed you with and have a go at it for a month and let me know if Tinder is still frustrating you. Use tinder, don’t let it use you.